A Journal

"I'm going to come back to West Virginia when this is over. There's something ancient and deeply-rooted in my soul. I like to think that I have left my ghost up one of those hollows, and I'll never really be able to leave for good until I find it. And I don't want to look for it, because I might find it and have to leave".----Breece D'J Pancake, in a letter to his mother. 

C.T. McGaha



orion's belt


don't give a good goddamn
about the crunching grass

spider made nest at back
         door burn it down

seems everyone cries
when the glass mirror dries

           livers like leather in spring

tell me again: that one about
the wolf that ate its father
and wore his fur around
the whole carnival

claps and cheers
dissipated ground
desiccated under
stars shaped like

    title cards

forgive them father
they know not what i
in the privacy of my
own home

and all the time i'm scared of butterflies

cocoons like coffins
in the belly of my station wagon

well, hell, maybe
the whole thing is evil

laces untied still
hungry at sundown



My favorite souvenir is this shitty little eiffel tower replica i got while in paris in summer 2015. i got it as a joke because i told my friend that i'd get her one, but i never gave it to her and we both forgot; so now it's just sitting on my desk, all bent and fucky from travel.

C.T. McGaha is a writer from Charlotte, NC. He founded and co-edits Vanilla Sex Magazine. His work has been featured in Juked, Word Riot, Potluck Magazine, and 90s Meg Ryan, among others. He watches too much television. In a perfect world, Broad City would be a live performance performed during all of the waking and sleeping hours, and he would be able to witness this. Follow him on Twitter @ctmcgaha.